You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
