Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
