Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
