we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
