someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
