Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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