I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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