we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
