That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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