Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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