there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
