Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I smell like Dick and happiness
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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