i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
