remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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