You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
When are your genitals available?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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