Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
