Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
