Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
