now i know why i became what i already was.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I want a musical about memes.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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