Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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