just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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