am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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