Those balls look pretty dangerous.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
