But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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