At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
