Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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