your thong is hanging out like whoa
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Damn victory sex feels great
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Dear god my vagina.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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