I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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