you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
two words...techno handjob
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
