i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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