i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
