I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
