I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
