If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
