Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
