Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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