i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
