Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just had sex on a roof
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
