Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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