I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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