I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize