Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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