sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Randomize
