I heard we made out
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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