Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
