Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
