Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
