don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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