She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
