Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
