great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
