my shit smells like andre
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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