I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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