All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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