ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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