so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
