I'm gonna have a badass scar
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize