so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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