i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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