I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
