Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
