Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
It's rum buckets o'clock
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
