Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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