so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
