found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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