I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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