A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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