i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
